Teyla awoke the next morning in the pale light just before dawn. The birds were loudly chirping and cooing, swooping from branch to branch. She detangled herself from the sleeping Satedan, brushing a few pebbles and pieces of leaves off her cheek as she sat up, her joints stiff. She tucked her tangling hair behind her ears and studied Ronon whose chest rose and fell reassuringly.

The fire had gone out but the warmth she felt when she hovered her hands above the small pit told her that there was still enough heat in the ash-covered embers to start it again. She gathered more dry leaves and a stick and used it to stir the coals before placing the leaves on top and blowing gently. Once she had a flame, she added the remaining wood from the previous night. She looked to Ronon again when she was done, assuring herself that he would be alright while she left for a few minutes.

After going to the bathroom, she made her way back down to the river, washing her hands in the icy water of snowmelt and rinsing off her face, careful of the bruises there. She then began to wander the exposed portion of the bank, looking for berry bushes among the riparian plants. Though she found none, she was able to identify and dig up several roots. She washed the dirt from them before returning to Ronon, pleased that the water they held would aid him.

He was still asleep when she returned and she couldn’t hide the rising panic in her voice as her several attempts to rouse him failed. “Ronon?” She shook his shoulders more violently. She grinned when he groaned in response, and she brushed her fingertips across his forehead then rested her hand on his cheek. His eyelids fluttered open then slid back shut as he sighed. She cocked her head at him. “Ronon?”

A few heartbeats later he groaned out a, “Hmmm?” making her smile again.

“You need to wake up now. The sun has almost risen and I have breakfast.”

He cracked open an eye and looked at her before yawning and struggling to get his stiff elbows beneath him to sit up. She helped him support his back as he did so, and then offered him the largest root. He took it with a quiet “thanks,” looking paler now that he was sitting up. He took a small bite of the root, surprised by its sharp taste.

Teyla was glancing over his makeshift bandages. Though most were stained yellows and reds, none of his wounds had bled significantly throughout the night. She smiled at that and gently rubbed his bare shoulder, causing him to look at her. She tilted her head. “How are you feeling?”

His only response was to look away and she resisted a sigh, knowing how hard the day’s journey was going to be for him.

He took another bite and waited until he had chewed and swallowed it before looking to her again. “How about you?” His voice sounded stronger, at least.

She moved her palm from his shoulder to take his free hand in both of hers. “Much better now that you are awake.”

Her words seemed to catch him by surprise for he studied her face for a moment before smiling hesitantly, weakly squeezing her hands before taking another bite.

She squeezed back then told him to eat as much as he could, returning her attention to the fire but not adding any further fuel, knowing that they should get going once the sun was up again. She took a bite of a root, running over the landmarks in her mind. With both her and Ronon’s combined memory of the route she was sure they would reach the village and the stargate within a matter of days. Yet she was unsure as to how much ground Ronon would be able to cover and how much longer he would be fit for travel. Without proper care, his wounds would become infected and she knew that she would lose him if she could not help him soon. But for now, her main goal was to get him as close to the village as possible and she once more shut out the dire possibilities the future might hold since they were of little assistance.

Ronon had finished the root she had given him but refused to eat the others, claiming he felt like he might throw up. Though she knew he needed to rest and heal, she helped him to his feet. He cried out in pain as he did so as his stiff, injured leg shot searing pain up through his hips, joining the chorus of pain from his chest. Teyla winced, shouldering one of his arms to help support him as he cringed and attempted to catch his breath. “I am sorry.”

He shook his head a little, muttering, “Not your fault.”

She waited until the pain had passed and he said that he felt ready before slowly beginning their trek once more. She could feel his body temperature rising as he strained to continue moving and her worry increased. He had lost a large amount of blood and his body was certainly not ready for descending a mountainside, but they had to try. They had to fight.

They spoke little and Teyla felt better when they reached the stream and Ronon was able to drink some water. She untied one of his loose bandages and gently washed away much of the dried blood from his skin. He closed his eyes in the morning light, letting its warmth ease into his muscles, seeping strength into them as Teyla began to quietly hum as she ran the strip of fabric over his bare skin. He opened her eyes when she broke out of her hum to sing, rinsing the cloth out in the river water then wiping at a blood stain again.

“When the moon on a cloud cast night

shine above the tree tops' height

You sang me of some distant past

That made my heart beat strong and fast

Now I know I'm home at last.

You offered me an eagle's wing

That to the sun I might soar and sing

And if I heard the owl's cry

Into the forest I would fly

And in its darkness find you by.

And so our love's not a simple thing

Nor our truths unwavering

But like the moon's pull on the tide

Our fingers touch our hearts collide

I'll be a moon's breath from your side.”

Her voice slithered under his skin, lending him a tickling strength that seemed to loom into his heartstrings. She rinsed out the cloth a final time and kissed the bare skin of his back, for it now bore gooseflesh. The warmth of her lips against his haunted skin made him inhale sharply and when she looked to him questioningly, he merely lowered his temple to rest against her shoulder. She smiled and set the cloth aside, leaning her head against his, cradling his locks with her arm. For several long heartbeats all that could be heard was the slosh of the hissing river and the birds calls as the winged sought their first meals of the day. At length she pulled her head away from his with a quiet, “We must be on our way.”

By the time the sun was high in the sky, so were Teyla’s hopes. Ronon had been keeping up well and though they had stopped for a rest in the heat, he assured her that he could continue for another few hours.

As dusk began to settle over the forest once more, Teyla repeated the routine of the night before by building another small fire. Ronon was quiet as he lay down next to the flames and Teyla doubled back on the trail to pick some edible blossoms that they had passed earlier.

Ronon appeared to be sleeping when she returned, yet when she quietly prodded him with his name he opened his eyes halfway. She smiled and knelt beside him, setting down the blossoms to feel his forehead. She jerked her hand away when she did so, surprised by the heat encased in his flesh. Her voice was startled. “You have a fever.” He gazed at her as if only half aware, having not flinched at her sudden movement a moment before. She looked to his bandages and his still-wet wounds. “Your injuries are infected....” Her mind raced in a panic, not having expected this to happen so soon and attempting to determine a course of action to help him as soon as possible, yet none seemed plausible. She looked back to his face and this time he seemed to recognize her alarm.

His voice was hoarse. “What?”

She shook her head a little as her throat tightened. “You are getting much worse. You may not be able to travel tomorrow.” He continued to gaze at her and she licked her lips, unable to accept the thought that all their efforts, all they’d fought for had been in vain. “I could go on ahead to bring back help but even if I did not rest at night it would still take several days and there is no sign of Colonel Sheppard or the others.”

He sighed, his eyes shying from hers over to the flowers she’d set on the ground.

She followed his gaze then hastily wiped at a tear on her cheek. “Ronon... I do not know what to do. I cannot abandon you, but without help, you will die.”

His gaze shifted back to hers and his light green eyes looked more focused. “I know,” he said, his voice quiet. “It’s okay.”

She cocked her head slightly as another tear escaped. Her eyes searched his. “No, Ronon, it most certainly is not.”

He sighed, looking down at the wilting flowers then up to her eyes again. “I’ve been dying for a long time, Teyla.”

She shook her head. “No, Ronon. You are strong. You are the strongest man I have ever known and you will not give up. Not like this.” She held his hand in-between hers.

He blinked languidly, shaking his head minutely. “For so long I have lived for the sole sake of surviving, without purpose or meaning. But if I am to die now, then at least I know I did some good.” He squeezed her hand as her lips parted and tears slid down her cheeks. “Cuz when I look into your eyes, I know why I survived all this time. I remember why living is worthwhile.”

A quiet sob escaped her as she pressed his hand to her cheek. “I love you, Ronon.”

A happy, playful light danced in his eyes as he slowly lifted half of his mouth in a muted, cocky smile and his voice cracked a little. “Yeah... guess I went through all of this cuz I kinda like you, too.”

She returned his lopsided smile with one of her own, shifting his hand to her lips to kiss it before sniffling. Her smile faded before his tired one did. “Promise me you will hold on for as long as you can.”

He nodded a little, his smile slowly fading. “I always will.”

She squeezed his hand again with another small smile. “Good.” She ran her thumb over the back of his hand for a while as she lost track of time, gazing into the tired tranquility of his eyes before pecking his cheek and bidding him to sleep, the shriveling blossoms forgotten beside her. She remained awake for a while longer, fretting over what to do to try and save him. Then, careful of his injuries, she lay down beside his fevered form, gently sliding her arms around his chest in a hug.

She wept quietly in the night when she was awoken by the unnatural heat of his now-shivering body, feeling as if she were helplessly letting him slip through her fingers.

Now Is Light

Now Is Light Homepage
I. Prologue: Teasing Out Dreams
II. Serpentine Tune
III. Tailing Not Far Behind
IV. For A Few Fleeting Moments
V. Dangerous Creatures
VI. The Hunter
VII. No Fear
VIII. Emboldened
X. Failing Light
XI. Epilogue: An Intimate Whisper